It was a long journey to explore my character Naoko for (No)regianWood. Even though it was a revival of my last production, there were many things that I discovered as an actor. One thing I really learned from this experience was that I should not have any judgement for the character before I learn about them. I remember my acting teacher once told us we cannot act "feeling". A sad character or depressed character or to have any stereotyped impression of the character I thought was very dangerous. What do they believed in and the reason the way they act certain way, or say certain things are far more valuable things to explore. I used to carry my character in my personal life as well. So, I spoke less in my off time when my character was someone who hides her feelings. Subconsciously probably I was trying to get used to the type of personality. But from this production, I realized that I do not have to act like a person who is depressed or have a problems. So in other words they were just being in the moment thinking a specific things which made them become quiet or depressed. A super happy person can be depressed or speak less when they are upset, and thinking about a certain thing. But there are always reasoning behind.
I discovered many things that she believed in. In many ways it was not how I personally think in many things, but I understood her way of thinking as well. I learned her idea, "understanding" of moral, social norm, rightious, friendship, love, death and life. The rest was simple. I didn't have to "act". I was there in each scene, and I expressed what I believed in as the character, and reacted from the reaction of my partner. So many crazy emotional roller coaster happened because of how vulnerable I was as the character. Many times it suprised me a lot as well.
It was so blessing to have co-actors, director and the team who I could trust and get a lot of support and feedbacks from. In a way, ending the production is to say good bye to your best friend you share the time with, including my character. So a little bit sentimental.
However, I am excited to move on to the next character! haha~ yes, no more train of thought to kill myself. I had enough death experiences on stage now. Working on the film production next!!! Another exciting challenge ar~
will miss you all!
